When my accountant hubby is working late, our house is a beacon of light on our street. I turn on every light in the house when I’m alone. When it’s time for bed, I flip off lights as I leave the space, ensuring another light is on as I move toward my bedroom. Once I am safely in my lighted room, I reach my arm around the door to turn the final hall light switch off.
I know this seems childish to probably every person reading this! Haha! It’s ok, we can all laugh about my quirks together!
The reason why I do this is because my brain likes to tell me danger exists when I take steps in the dark. And, whether you know it or not, your brain is telling you the same thing.
Our brains are programmed to seek evidence for the thoughts it creates. If it cannot seek for evidence, it sends warning signals that danger is lurking. It is like flashing red lights telling you to abort.
When I am striving toward a new goal or practicing a new belief, I feel the flashing red lights within me. My brain begins to panic the same way it does when it thinks about walking around a dark house.
I coach my clients through the same thing. When they begin working with me, they have not yet experienced parenting without the guilt that they should be doing more, a to-do list without anxiety of how to fit it all in, confidence as a parent without the stress of doing it wrong, failure without the self-deprecation, and being present with their family without the sadness of being gone.
I know you have similar thoughts that you want to let go. I also know you struggle to know how to let those thoughts go once and for all.
The first step is recognizing that these thoughts are a security blanket to your brain. Your brain knows what these thoughts feel like, and although it is not awesome, it finds comfort in familiarity.
The next step is being willing to take a step in the dark by thinking about the possibility of letting these thoughts go. You brain will start to tell you all the evidence of why these thoughts are true. Notice when this happens. Be curious why your brain is feeding you this evidence. It is trying to get you to abort the mission before it’s even started.
The last step is taking your first step into the dark. It may look like, “I am learning how to live without guilt,” “I trust I will get done the most needful things today,” “Each day I am figuring out how I want to parent,” “Failure does not define me,” “Being present in moments with my family is worth more than being distant while spending hours with them.”
Find whatever thought rings true for you, then start practicing it constantly. Repeat it in the morning and at night. Sing these thoughts, or shout them out loud! Notice the times when your brain wants evidence for these thoughts, and let it know it’s ok that you don’t have any evidence right now.
Within time, the light will come on because when you truly believe these things, you start showing up differently, which creates the results you’ve been wanting. These results provide the evidence your brain has been anxiously seeking. Once it recognizes the evidence, your brain will stop trying to abort the mission, and will finally enjoy the peace the new thought brings.
Do you struggle with taking steps in the dark as you are learning to believe new things? I am here to help. Click below to send me an email so we can get your consult scheduled so that you can start moving forward on your new beliefs today.